


Life is Very Long When You're Lonely

by coconuthead_Marr



Category: The Smiths
Genre: Drug Use, Marrissey, Multi, Oral Sex, Record store au, Smut, drug mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:39:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconuthead_Marr/pseuds/coconuthead_Marr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven Morrissey is a miserable record store clerk. One day, Johnny, the typical high school rebel walks in and changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moz's POV

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! it's the author of Barista in A Coma! This is the fanfic I was talking about! I really hope you guys like it, and I tried to make the chapters longer but idk. leave comments/kudos :)

Steven Morrissey walked ten blocks of freezing cold hell every morning so that he may make money that barely got him by. He worked in a record store his father had owned before his death, to support he and his mother.  
Though every morning was miserable, one morning in late November was spectacularly miserable.  
Already nursing a bloody awful cold, Steven tripped on uneven pavement and busted his lip. Bleeding profusely, he wiped the blood with the sleeve of his brand new jacket, and decided he was too close to the store to go back.  
Letting his friend, and co-worker, Craig in, he started to say hello, when his lip started bleeding again.

'Why, how lovely.' He thought. 'I wonder what else could possibly go wrong today.'

The normal customers came in today, buying new releases from their overplayed favorite bands.  
As Steven tried to persuade Craig to put The Ramones on the speakers, four teenagers burst in.  
One was very short and had his arm slung over a brown haired girl's shoulder. He wore a leather jacket, and tight fitted jeans. Everything tied in well with his quiffed hair, sunglasses, and the cigarette that he had between his teeth.  
There was something oddly beautiful about him that Steven couldn't place. He swallowed his shock, and spoke. 

"You can't have that cigarette in here!" he said, holding out an ash tray. "Please put it out."

Another boy with dark hair, large ears, and a similar outfit to the other boys came forward, grabbing Steven's shirt with both hands. 

"Listen man, Johnny can do whatever he wants."

The boy, who must've been Johnny suddenly took an awkward stance, as he apologetically stepped toward Steven with the cigarette and put it out.

"Look, no worries!" He said with a smile. "Okay?"

Steven nodded, and let the boys look around the store. After about ten minutes, Johnny picked out a record he liked and stepped toward the counter. As he took off his sunglasses, Steven got a better look at his eyes. They were a golden brown color that made his heart skip.  
As it happened, the boy had chosen a New York Dolls album. 

"I love the Dolls!" Steven said, excitedly.

The boy with the big ears was standing across the room, but perked his head up.

"Quiet!" Johnny hissed. "They can't know I like the Dolls!"

"Well, why not?" Steven whispered.

"They don't like that shit."

Steven scoffed. "Assholes."

It was the girl who perked her head up this time. She marched over to Steven, heels clacking on the ground, and promptly slapped him in the face.  
Johnny jumped back, startled. Steven rubbed his face.

"Don't talk that way about Johnny!" She demanded.

"Angie!" Johnny put his hand on her shoulder. "It's fine!" 

Not another word was said, until the other boys bought their records. The blonde boy, who hadn't said much of a word was rung up quietly. There was something wrong with him that Steven couldn't figure out.  
Next, was the big eared boy. He scoffed at every move Steven made and when he finally got his change, he leaned over the counter and spat one word at him.

"Faggot."

Steven flinched as he heard it. He hadn't been called that in a year, since he'd been in school himself.  
Craig had been watching the whole thing in awe, leaning back on his chair. 

"That girl slapped you!" He said with a laugh.

"Oh really?" Steven retorted. "I hadn't noticed!"

As the day went on, the normal customers kept coming in. But, Steven couldn't stop thinking about Johnny. The boy had been so shocking to him. His heart had started beating faster than normal when he walked in, and he tried to deny it, but his pants tightened as well. 

'No.' He thought. 'I must have surely gotten over this delusion by now.'

But, he knew that his years of trying to learn who he was, in school, were not for nothing.  
Steven sorted the records alphabetically, and a brown record sleeve reminded him of the boy's eyes. The moment he'd looked into them, he felt that his soul had been sucked out. Perhaps it was the harsh fluorescent lighting of the shop, but Johnny's eyes had looked not just brown, but golden.  
Steven was jarred from his thoughts as red droplets started appearing on the record sleeve. He touched his hands to his lips, and felt them bleeding again. It was then that he realized he'd been smiling so widely, his gash had burst yet again. Why was he smiling at the memory of a boy he'd just met, for only fifteen minutes?


	2. Johnny's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there are slurs in this chapter and probably in the rest of the fic. I'm just using them for the characters to say, I don't actually mean any of this. leave kudos/comments :)

As the group of four walked away from the record store, Johnny thought about the boy with blue eyes behind the counter. He didn't get to think for long though, because his friend Mike was speaking.

"What a poof!" He said as he kicked a rock across the pavement. "I should've put his lights out then and there!"

Johnny stopped walking. "Mike, what the fuck's your problem?"

"My problem?" Mike scoffed. "Maybe you've got a problem. Are you a faggot too? Are you standing up for your boyfriend?"

"Mike!" Angie screeched. "I'm right here!"

Andy remained silent.

"C'mon Johnny boy." Mike said, taking a step closer. "Lemme see what record you've got."

Johnny pulled away from Angie, and backed up. "No! My music is none of your business!"

Mike grabbed the bag from Johnny, and took his record out. 

"The New York Dolls?"

Johnny stared at his feet. "I just like them, is all."

Angie cringed upon seeing the makeup and stiletto clad men upon the sleeve.  
Mike took one disgusted look at Johnny, and threw the record on the ground. He crushed it under his foot with one swift move.   
Andy jumped as Mike stomped his foot. He gave Johnny an apologetic look, without saying anything. It wasn't Andy's fault, but he still looked sorry.

"Fuckin' fag music." Mike growled.

"Bloody hell, Mike!" Johnny said as he turned around and walked away from the scene. Angie did not tag along.

Part of him wanted to hide his tears from Mike, only knowing it would make things worse. The other part of him was going back to the record store to talk to the blue eyed boy.

\--------------------------

The bell above the door jingled as Johnny walked in. As he walked in, he noticed that the boy with stunning blue eyes was not behind the counter. Instead, it was another, taller boy. 

"Where is the other man who works here ?" Johnny asked.

The boy behind the counter laughed. "He's in the bathroom. His lip started bleeding all of a sudden."

"Is he alright?" Johnny pried.

Just as he asked, the bathroom door opened up, and the blue eyed boy walked out. He noticed Johnny, and a look of fear and surprise ran plainly across his face.

"Er... what are you doing here?" 

"I'm sorry to bother you." Johnny said as he took his sunglasses off and placed them in his pocket. "My friend... uh... broke my record."

"The one with the big ears?" Asked the boy.

"Well..." Johnny looked around, avoiding all eye contact. "Yes, I suppose that would be him."

The boy frowned, now. "The one who called me a faggot."

Johnny felt himself give a pained look to the boy. "Yes, that would be Mike. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." The boy came forward and shook Johnny's hand. "I'm Steven."

"Steven..." Johnny said. "D'ya have a nickname or something?"

The taller boy behind the counter looked up and smiled, playfully. "Moz!"

Steven rolled his eyes. "Don't call me-"

Johnny couldn't help but to interrupt. "Moz it is!"

Moz smiled painfully. "Let me get you a new copy of that record. I'll even give it to you for free!"

Johnny nearly insisted upon payment, but decided against it. Mike couldn't stop him now.   
Moz went through a cardboard box full of brand new vinyl, and picked out the New York Dolls' album Johnny had before. 

"Are you sure I can have it for free?" He questioned. 

"It only makes sense." Moz said with a smile that made Johnny's heart feels it was melting.  
Moz handed Johnny the brand new record. That was when Johnny noticed his hands. They were pretty big, with long bony fingers. Somewhere inside, for reasons unknown, Johnny was screaming. The room felt hot, when he looked at Moz's face for longer than five seconds, despite the freezing cold temperature outside.   
What was this feeling? It was almost identical to the feeling Johnny got when he looked at Angie the first time he met her. But, compared to Moz, he didn't think Angie was as beautiful anymore.

'Do I actually like this guy?' Johnny wondered.


	3. Moz's POV

Steven didn't see Johnny again for another few days. He hoped he'd look up to find him standing there, but he never did. Eventually, he gave up. Johnny was probably never coming back into his shop again.  
Craig burst into the shop one cold, December morning, nearly breaking the door. 

"Guess what Moz?" He said excitedly.

"Oh lord Craig." Steven rolled his eyes "What is it?"

"That cute boy you like is just about to walk in." Craig sang, with a smile.

"What?" Steven stood from his folding chair, surprised. "I don't-" 

He was interrupted by the sound of the bell above the door jingling. In, walked a young man in a leather jacket and a turtleneck sweater. It was Johnny.   
Steven choked down his shock, and smiled at him. His heart felt like it was jumping out of his chest, and he almost immediately broke out in sweat.

"Hello there Moz." He said as he pulled the cigarette out from between his lips.

"Hello Johnny." Steven whimpered. "What are you looking for today?"

"Actually, I was hoping we could grab a bite to eat?" Johnny smiled. It was a little smirk that killed Steven.

"Craig, would you watch the store?" He asked. Craig nodded, pausing a moment before winking.

Steven blushed, and grabbed his coat before heading out the door. He struggled to catch up with Johnny's fast pace. He obviously knew where he was going, and the walk was filled with silence. They finally arrived at a seedy burger joint, about twelve blocks away from the record store.

"Have you taken me here to murder me?" Steven joked.

"I know it doesn't look like the perfect place." Johnny laughed. "But, they have wonderful fries."

Steven smiled for a moment before confusion filled his thoughts. "Johnny?" he asked. "Why did you take me here?"

Johnny tapped his fingers on the somewhat dusty plastic table. "You gave me a free record! I thought I'd take you to get some food. Get to know you."

"Why did it take so long?" Steven wondered aloud, pushing the bridge of his glasses up. 

The smile faded from Johnny's face. "Just... preoccupied with some stuff."

Steven wanted to ask him if anything was wrong, but his suspicions might hit too close to home with Johnny. Was he being hurt by his 'friend' that he'd brought to the store? Was something going on at home?  
When the waiter came around, Johnny ordered french fries. A silent moment went by, before Johnny looked over Steven's shoulder at the door and shrank into his seat.

"Shit!" He sighed.

"What is it?" Steven asked.  
Johnny did not reply, so he turned around to look at the door. Mike and the blonde boy were walking into the burger joint.   
Mike looked, around, recognized Johnny, and walked over. 

Slamming his hands down on their table, he spoke. "First date?"

"Excuse me?" Steven was shocked. "We've only just met. And doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

"Johnny boy didn't tell you?" Mike laughed. "He dumped Angie two days ago. Said he couldn't take it anymore. Broke her dam heart, you did, Johnny."

Johnny placed his face in his hands and sighed again. "I just didn't like her anymore."

"Because you're a fag?" Mike asked, punching Johnny's shoulder.

The blonde boy, who hadn't spoken in Steven's presence yet, finally grabbed Mike's arm, pulled him back, and yelled at him. "Mike, why don't you fucking stop?"

Mike looked at the boy with surprise and- was it sympathy? The boy wasn't as tough looking as Mike, though in a fight with Steven, this boy would win. He wore a sheepskin coat and a green sweater. Something about his face didn't seem right, as Steven had observed previously, at the record store. His eyes were glassy and red, and behind them, lay something Steven couldn't guess.

"I'm sorry Andy." Mike said, with sincerity.

"Whatever Mike." Andy scoffed. "Just apologize to Johnny."

Steven did not know how Andy was manipulating Mike, but whatever he was doing, seemed to work, because Mike did apologize. Mike could surely hurt Andy just as he could hurt Johnny, or anyone really. But he didn't. He treated the boy with respect.  
Johnny adjusted his sunglasses, and gave Andy a grateful nod. The two boys walked away, and took their seats on the opposite side of the restaurant. 

"How does Andy do that?" Steven asked Johnny.

"Do what?" Johnny asked. 

"Didn't you see that?" Steven gestured towards the back of the room. "He got Mike to just do whatever he told him to do!"

"Oh, I dunno." Johnny shrugged. "Andy just has that power. Always has. Perhaps Mike feels bad for him. He's an addict, y'know."

Steven was about to say something, but their fries arrived. Johnny thanked the waitress, and paid. They ate the fries, and talked about themselves. Steven didn't know anyone was out there who had so much in common with him. They both liked all the same bands. Johnny was a vegetarian just as Steven was.   
With every new thing he learned about Johnny, his feelings grew. They ended up taking a walk around their little town, and talking until it was dark. After the sun set, Steven looked at his watch.

"Oh shit!" He exclaimed. "I've got to get home! My mum will be wondering where I am!" 

Johnny took a slip of paper out of his pocket, and wrote something on it. 

"Give me a call, okay?" He said, as he handed Steven the piece of paper. 

"I will." Steven smiled, and looked into Johnny's golden brown eyes for a moment. He wanted to kiss the boy, but it was idiotic. They'd only just met.

Finally, Johnny broke the silence. "See ya Moz." He said, patting Steven's shoulder, and turning around to walk away. Steven walked away too, looking over his shoulder for a moment. As he looked at Johnny, he noticed Johnny was looking at him too. Their eyes met before Steven turned around and didn't look back.

\------------------------  
"Mum, I'm home!" Steven yelled as he arrived at his small home.

"Oh Steven, I was worried!" his mother said as she appeared in the doorway. 

"I was just out with someone." He said, smiling at the thought of Johnny.

"With Craig?" Steven's mum asked.

"No, mum." Steven kept smiling. "Just, someone else."

Steven's mother was about to say something, but she just walked into the kitchen, and served him dinner. All throughout dinner, Steven felt the piece of paper Johnny had given him, in his pocket. Finally, after dinner, he read the note. It was Johnny's phone number, with a note that read: "Moz, if you don't call me, I'll come into your shop and bug you. -Johnny"  
Steven smiled at Johnny's note, and held it in his hand for a moment or two. He couldn't wait to call Johnny tomorrow.   
As Steven nodded off to sleep, the brown eyed boy visited his thoughts, showering him with bouquets of gladioli flowers. Nothing could deny that he was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys I really don't know what I was doing here but I hope you like it. leave kudos/ comments if you enjoyed :)


	4. Johnny's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I'm actually really proud of the next two chapters!! please leave comments/kudos if you enjoy :-)))

Johnny sat on his bed, writing a song on his guitar. He'd been so excited for Moz to call, that he needed a distraction. He wanted so badly for the boy to call him, and to see him again. He just hoped his father wouldn't pick up the phone before he did.  
When it finally rang, Johnny rushed to his bedside table to pick it up. 

"Hello?" Johnny said, excitedly.

A soft laugh came from the other end before the caller spoke. "Hello Johnny, it's Steven."

"Moz!" Johnny smiled. "Glad you called! How are things?"

Moz hesitated, as if wondering how things really were. "Wonderful. Would you come down to the shop today? You can sit with me behind the counter. Craig isn't here today, and I need company."

"Only if you'll pay me." Johnny joked. They said their goodbyes and hung up.  
Johnny slipped out the door and made his way towards the record shop. He decided to buy flowers for Moz, hoping he didn't pick up the subtext.  
Stopping at an open-air market, he picked out a bouquet of roses, but as he looked at a beautiful bouquet of gladiolus, he felt something change inside him. He bought the gladiolus without a second thought, and continued to the shop.   
He was interrupted once again, by two teenagers who he didn't recognize at first. 

"Well, well!" said a familiar male voice. 

Johnny looked up. The voice was Mike, and standing beside him was Angie. But Andy was nowhere to be seen. This worried him immensely. If Andy wasn't there, who was to stop Mike from doing something he'd regret? And was Andy alone? Andy was not supposed to be left alone for long.

"What the fuck is going on?" Johnny snapped. "Where's Andy?"

Mike's face fell, and he lost his taunting smile. He did not speak.

Instead, Angie spoke. "You know quite well, Johnny. He's off shooting heroin."

Johnny glanced at Mike, who looked guilty and upset. "Mike, really? You left Andy alone? You of all people should know he can't be alone, he could die."  
As an immediate reaction, Mike punched Johnny in the nose with full force, knocking him off his feet.

"Shut up Johnny!" He yelled, his voice slightly cracking. "Just shut the fuck up!"

Johnny tried to get up, but Mike kicked him. He didn't stop. He kicked Johnny until he spat up blood, and still he kept going. Johnny looked up for a moment to see Mike sobbing as he kicked. Finally, Angie grabbed Mike and pulled him away, tears streaming down his face.   
Johnny tried to speak, but he could barely even think. The last thing he saw  
before he lost consciousness, was Mike's foot, making its way toward his face.

\--------------------------

Johnny woke to find that it was night time, and he was laying in an alleyway. He recognized the setting. It was pretty close to the record store, so he decided he'd walk there.  
He hoisted himself up, as a shooting pain went through him. His ribs and back were sore. His mouth tasted of blood, and as he opened it, blood indeed poured out. He wanted to die. Searching for the flowers he'd gotten for Moz, he noticed his arm had peculiar dots on it. He found the flowers in a nearby puddle, and realized that he'd been drugged and it hasn't quite worn off yet. He remembered how excited Moz was to see him, and how late he was.  
When he finally arrived, the store was closed. The only way he could possibly get ahold of anyone now, was by calling them. As it happened, there was a payphone right outside the shop, so he dug around his pockets for a quarter and dialed the only number his drugged up mind could remember.   
He hoped Moz would pick up, but it was his mother instead. 

"Hello?" The woman behind the phone said. "Who's there?"

Johnny used all of his might to explain. "P-please ma'am. It's Moz- uh, I mean Steven's friend Johnny. I'm badly hurt."

"Hello Johnny." The woman's voice now held concern. "This is Steven's mother. Where are you? I'll come and get you."

"I'm at the record shop, I think. I don't know." Johnny was beginning to slip again.

"I'll be right there Johnny." Moz's mother assured him. "Stay there. I've got my car."  
She hung up, and Johnny dropped the receiver, falling to his knees. He didn't realize he was crying until the salty tears entered his mouth. 

"I'm so sorry Moz." He whispered, as he fell into unconsciousness yet again.


	5. Moz's POV

Johnny did not arrive at the shop. Though disappointed, Steven was not surprised. Johnny was not reliable. And he probably didn't give a shit about Steven. He couldn't believe he thought for even a moment that Johnny felt the same.  
At around 3:00PM, Mike and Angie walked in. Steven's heart sped up. Andy was not there, and Mike could hurt him. But, he was pleasantly surprised. Instead of punching him in the face, Mike walked up to the counter and took his hand. 

"I'm so sorry." He told Steven, as tears streamed down his face. "Please forgive me, man."

Steven pulled his hand away. "You already apologized." 

"No" Mike whimpered. "Not for this."   
In the background, Angie stood with her arms crossed, and her eyes rolling.  
Mike took Steven hand and apologized again. He then, walked out with Angie.   
Steven wondered why Mike's knuckles had blood on them. A horrible thought crossed his mind, but he immediately did away with it.   
At 6:00PM, (or perhaps a few minutes early) Steven closed the shop. He felt miserable and alone without Johnny. He made his way home, went up to his room and spun a Joy Division record. It felt appropriate for today.  
At 9:45PM, his mother burst into his room, with her jacket on, and her car keys in hand. 

"Steven, go downstairs. Wait by the door. I'll be back in a moment." She said, in a hurry, and then she was gone. He did as she said, and ten minutes later she unlocked the door. She was helping the broken image of a boy into the house. Steven recognized him. It was Johnny.  
He ran, nearly crying up to Johnny, who despite all the pain he seemed to be in, smiled and handed him a ruined bouquet of gladiolus. Steven took them, set them down and took Johnny. He slung his arm over Steven's shoulder and stumbled over the threshold. 

"Johnny!" He said with great concern. "Can you make it up to my room?"

Johnny, clearly drugged, softly giggled. "Yes, please." 

"You cheeky bastard." Moz laughed, as he helped Johnny up the stairs.

"Moz." Johnny said with slurred words. "Yer all cute when yer worried."  
Steven looked at Johnny for a moment, wondering if it was just the drugs speaking, or if he really meant it.   
Finally, they reached Steven's room, and he gently layed Johnny down on his bed. Sitting on the edge next to Johnny, he pulled the broken boy's sunglasses off and placed them on the nightstand.

"Can I take you to a hospital, please?" Steven asked Johnny. "I'm worried."

Johnny grabbed Steven's wrist. "No Moz. Please." He begged. "I wan' be here. Wif' you."

"Okay Johnny. I'm going to try to fix you up though." Steven tried to stand, but Johnny got ahold of his shirt collar, and pulled him down. He was now looking directly into Johnny's eyes. Johnny moved Steven closer, slowly, but was interrupted by incessant wheezing. Blood started trickling out of the corner of his mouth, and he choked on it too.   
Steven turned him over, so as not to choke, and an alarming amount of blood made its way from Johnny's mouth, and onto his sheets. 

"I'm s' sorry M-Moz." Johnny whispered. Tears sprouted from his eyes, mixing with the blood on the sheets.  
Steven pulled Johnny into his embrace, and held him for a moment.

"Hush Johnny." He said, as he ran his fingers through his hair. "It's okay. But I really think you need medical attention."

Johnny pulled away, wincing. "No!"  
He yelled loudly. "Please Moz. I wan' you."  
He starting coughing, and crying again. Steven layed him down again. 

"Okay." Steven whispered. "I'm going to get some first aid things. I'll be right back."  
He ran downstairs, where his mum had already prepared a first-aid kit. He thanked her, and brought it up to Johnny.

"Johnny?" Steven said. "May I ask what happened?"

"I was coming to see you, when Mike and Angie crossed my path." His voice shook. "I mentioned Andy, and then Mike fucked me up. I woke up in an alleyway near your shop, but it was closed." 

"Oh Johnny." Steven said, placing his hand on Johnny's cheek, moving his thumb around. "I'm so sorry, love."

"Kiss me." Johnny ordered.

"Excuse me?" Steven's heart started beating fast. "Johnny, what did they drug you with?"

"Just fuckin' kiss me Moz." Johnny said, as he got hold of Steven's collar again, and pulled him down.  
And Johnny kissed him. It tasted like blood and tears, but it was warm, and it was Johnny. Steven tried to pull away, but Johnny pulled him back, kissing him for a solid five minutes. Then, Johnny started coughing, yet again.   
Steven hesitated for a moment, then grabbed cough medicine.

"This probably won't help, but here's hoping it does." Steven said as he moved the small cup of cough syrup towards Johnny's lips. He looked at Steven, skeptically.   
"C'mon Johnny. Please."   
Nothing.  
Steven sighed. Then, he started chanting. "Shots! Shots! Shots!"  
Johnny smiled weakly, and downed the medicine, cringing at the taste. Then, Steven handed him pain medication pills, and Johnny took them.   
Steven cleaned up Johnny's face with a wet rag. Johnny winced at the pain, and grabbed Steven's hand. 

"Johnny, I'm going to need you to uh... take your shirt off." Steven said, shyly.  
Johnny attempted, flinching. Steven helped Johnny take it off. His chest was a horrible sight. It was black and blue, and he noticed something that might've been internal bleeding. Johnny was crying again, so Steven leaned down and planted kisses on his chest. Johnny blushed, and giggled softly.   
Steven rolled Johnny's chest and ribs area up with an ace bandage, and kissed him again. Laying down next to Johnny, he pulled the covers over them and planted a kiss on Johnny's lips. 

"Get some sleep Johnny." He whispered as his lips grazed Johnny's. 

"But Moz, I wan' be awake for you." Johnny pleaded, as he slipped into unconsciousness.   
Steven reached over and clicked off the light. He kissed Johnny once more, and held him in his arms as he nodded off. 

"G'night Moz." Johnny slurred. 

"Goodnight Johnny."


	6. Johnny's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here you go guys, i finally updated the fic. this chapter might not be my proudest achievement but i think you'll all like it!! leave kudos/comments :)   
> xoxo

Johnny woke early the next morning. Partly because he wasn't a good sleeper, and partly because the pain medication had worn off. He looked to the side to find Moz sleeping, with his arms around him.  
Johnny didn't want to get up and disturb Moz's sleep. He looked so beautiful. But he needed to take more pain medication. He ran his fingers through Moz's hair for a moment, before he felt a sudden sharp pain in his stomach. He shot up, followed by more intense pain, and ran to the bathroom. He knelt by the toilet, coughed uncontrollably for a little while, and then started vomiting blood.   
Moz ran into the bathroom and sat beside Johnny, putting his arm around him. 

"Johnny are you alright?" Moz asked worriedly.   
Johnny's throat felt sore, so he just nodded, yes.

"Please let me take you to the hospital." Moz demanded. "It's not that far."  
Johnny tried to say no, but he couldn't argue. He felt himself starting to cry again. 

"I'm so sorry Moz." Johnny finally whimpered.

"Oh dear." Moz took Johnny's hand. "It's quite alright. But can I ask you a question?"

"Is it about last night?" Johnny asked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Moz nodded. "It's just... well, why did you kiss me?"

"I'm sorry." Johnny sighed. Of course Moz had to ask. "Well, I was high. And you're so beautiful. I've thought so for quite a while. You probably have a girlfriend though. I'm sorry."

"Johnny, I felt so relieved when you did it. I feel just the same. I've wanted you to kiss me since I first laid eyes on you." Moz said, cupping Johnny's cheek.  
Johnny felt a dash of relief. At least one thing was going the way it should. Moz leaned in to kiss him, but Johnny stopped him. 

"Just take me to the hospital. We'll worry about one thing at a time." He said.   
Moz nodded. After eating a quick breakfast, Johnny was loaded, quite painfully, into the back of Moz's mother's car.

"I'll get my mother," Moz said, "I don't drive."   
Johnny was alone for a moment, laying on the leather seat. He ran his hand along the smooth leather, and wondered if Moz was just humoring him because he was in pain.   
As Moz approached the car, he opened up the back door instead of the front one, much to Johnny's surprise, and got in. He lifted his head and put it in Moz's lap, and almost instantly, Moz was running his fingers through Johnny's jet black hair, giving him chills.  
Johnny stared into Moz's sea blue eyes. He felt lost in them, and momentarily, he felt no pain at all. They were hyptotic.  
They just stared at each other until they arrived at the hospital. Moz helped Johnny walk into the waiting room, sitting down with him on plastic seats. 

"Are you alright?" Moz asked, "Will you be okay to go home?"

Johnny realized that he couldn't go home. His father was probably drunk off his ass, or at least if he was lucky, hungover. And his mother was never home. She could only take few months at a time at home, and the rest of her time was spent elsewhere.  
Johnny didn't know where his mother went. She'd just be at the door with her luggage, and she'd yell to Johnny in his room that she was going on another vacation. When she came back, it was only ever a matter of weeks before she and Johnny's dad got into an argument, and the cycle would continue. He didn't know where his mom was or when she was coming back, but he knew she was far away and wouldn't be home any time soon.  
Johnny but his lip and realized how bad it would be for his recovery to go back to his house and have his father yell at him, or maybe even hit him.

"Please don't drop me home." Johnny whispered into Moz's ear.

Moz gave Johnny a skeptical look. "But why?"

"Please" He didn't realize that he was gripping Moz's arm until he took Johnny's hand. 

"Okay Johnny." He nodded, "But you have to get some rest.

"Thank you." Johnny sighed in relief, and buried his head in the crook of Moz's neck.   
Their fingers intertwined, and Moz made a circular motion on Johnny's knuckle, with his thumb. It gave Johnny chills.   
He smiled, and nodded off. He was perfectly happy right here with Moz. He didn't need anything else.

"Johnny?" a female voice called, snapping him awake. Johnny looked up to see a nurse holding a clipboard. "Johnny Marr?"  
Moz gave Johnny a smile, and helped him up. He aided Johnny in walking up to the nurse, but she stopped him. 

"Sorry sir, you have to wait out here." She told Moz. He nodded and wished Johnny luck.  
The nurse gave him a warm smile, as she helped him into the all-white room. He sat alone for a moment, thinking only of Moz.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long once again to update! I've been really busy with school, and on top of that, this election has made me lazy as fuck. Leave comments/kudos if you enjoy this much overdue chapter! :)

Steven hadn't realized he was asleep until a hand touched his shoulder. 

"Rise and shine Moz." Said Johnny, standing next to a doctor.  
Steven stood, smiling at Johnny. The doctor looked at his clipboard, and cleared his throat.

"He's got one broken rib, and light internal bleeding!" He said, matter-of-factly, "He'll be alright, he just needs lots of rest."

"Wonderful!" Steven said, taking Johnny's hand.

"Keep in mind," the doctor added, "that if this happens again, the results may not be so positive. Stay out of trouble, and you'll be fine."

Johnny nodded, and off they went. As they slid into Steven's mum's car, she smiled.

"Would you like me to take you home, Johnny?" She asked.

The smile faded from Johnny's face, as a look of denial went over him.   
Steven nodded at him, indicating that he wouldn't be going home.

"I want him to come with us." Steven answered. "I'll feel safer knowing he's in our care."

Steven's mum looked confused for a moment, but nodded, and drove on.  
They finally reached Steven's house, and he helped Johnny up to his room, carefully laying him on the bed. 

"Will you put on a record for me?" Johnny asked.

"My record player's broken, my love." replied Steven. "But I have some movies!"

"They're all James Dean movies, Moz!" Argued Johnny, "I've seen them all millions of times!"

"Alright." Steven sighed, "Well, I've got Roman Holiday. It has Audrey Hepburn in it."  
As he put the movie in, he realized what time it was. He was going to be late for opening up the record store.

"Johnny, I'm so sorry." Steven said as he threw his shoes and coat on, "I've got to open up the record store."

Johnny tried to get up. "Let me go with you. I need to get some fresh air."

"Johnny you're hurt!" Moz said, putting his hand on Johnny's shoulder, "You have to stay here."

"I'll be good." Johnny replied, throwing his shoes on too.   
Steven couldn't argue. He was sure Johnny would be alright. But what if Mike and Angie paid him a visit? What if Andy wasn't with them again? He began to wonder about Andy's safety as well. Was he supposed to be alone with his drug addiction and all? What if something had happened to him?   
If something had happened to Andy, there was no stopping Mike from doing something irrational. And that meant Johnny could get hurt again.   
He took Johnny with him anyway. They walked down the street with their arms linked, which of course earned some confused looks. When they finally reached the record store, Craig was outside having a cigarette.

"Well it took you long enough!" Craig exclaimed, putting his cigarette out.

"I'm sorry." Steven said as he unlocked the door, "I had to take Johnny to the hospital."

Craig wiggled his eyebrows. "Ohh, I see how it is! Is he replacing me now?" He teased.

"Oh please, he's just accompanying me." Steven replied. "I'll find a way to pay him for his troubles."

As Johnny followed him in, he leaned into Steven and whispered, "I can think of a few ways you'd pay me!"  
Steven paused, looking at the smirking Johnny. He felt himself blush, and he hoped Craig didn't hear what Johnny had said. Did he mean what Steven thought he meant? What would happen? Could Johnny get hurt during whatever it was they were doing later?  
Steven didn't have long to ponder because at that moment, the bell above the door jingled. Johnny and Steven looked over to the door to find Mike and Andy standing there.  
Johnny took off his sunglasses, exposing his black eye to them. Mike sighed regretfully as Andy lost all expression in his face. 

"Mike?" Andy said with a shaky voice, "What did you do?"

"Andy, please," Mike pleaded, "I didn't mean to hurt him. I took out my anger in the wrong way."

"But you promised-" Andy tried to speak, but he couldn't. Tears filled his eyes and his voice cracked. 

"Andy..." Mike reached for Andy's shoulder, but he pulled away and rushed out the door. "Fuck's sake Andy!"  
Mike ran after Andy, and they were gone. For a moment, Johnny, Steven, and Craig stood, waiting for Mike and Andy to come back. They didn't. 

"What was that all about?" Craig wondered. 

"He beat me up." Johnny said casually as he flipped through the bin of 45's.

"Really? That guy?" Craig said, questioningly. "I thought they might be... y'know..."

Johnny turned around with a shocked look on his face, "Gay? Oh dear. Everything is clearer."

Steven bit his lip, "How is that possible? He teased both of us for it. He broke your ribs for it. I don't believe it."

"No, love," Johnny explained, "Remember when you pointed out how apologetic he is around Andy? This explains so much."  
Steven finally started to pick up the clues. Mike was always so apologetic and careful around Andy. That was how Andy kept him from hurting people. Mike must've hurt Johnny because he was jealous that they'd been so open. It seemed like a stretch, but it was completely believable.

"What are we going to do?" Steven asked.

"I'm going to talk to them." Johnny replied.

"Johnny, no!" Steven yelled as he grabbed Johnny's arm. "What if something happens?"

Johnny hesitated for a moment, looking at Steven with his beautiful brown eyes. "You're right." 

"Thank you" Steven said, going back to the register.  
The rest of the day was uneventful. The normal people showed up again, just like they had on the day Johnny had first arrived. Craig made sarcastic remarks about everyone who walked through the door, making Johnny laugh so hard he cried.   
Soon enough, the day was done.   
The three boys left the shop at 6:00PM, Steven locking the door behind them. Steven and Johnny said goodbye to Craig, and walked off. 

"Follow me Moz," Johnny said, tugging Steven's arm. He followed the shorter boy into a dark alley.

"Johnny, I can't see!" Steven exclaimed.

"That's alright." Johnny whispered.   
Steven felt him planting soft kisses on his neck, giving him goosebumps. 

"Ah, Johnny." Steven stuttered, "What are you-?"

"Just trust me." Johnny whispered, as he continued to kiss Steven's neck. Kissing turned into biting though, leaving a few love bites on his neck. Johnny slid his hands under Steven's shirt, feeling his chest. This caused even more chills- plus a rush of blood-, making his mind numb. 

"Johnny," Steven moaned softly in between words, "Let me do something for you."

"Are you sure?" Johnny asked, quietly, but excitedly.

"Yes." Steven said.  
He kissed Johnny for a moment, contemplating whether or not anyone could see them in this alley.  
He began kissing Johnny's neck, each time going farther down. He stopped at his shirt, not wanting to unbutton it, and putting his hands on Johnny's hips.  
He knelt down and unzipped Johnny's jeans, exposing his erection.   
Without a second thought, he closed his lips around it.

"Shit Moz!" Johnny gasped. "I didn't know you'd be into that!"  
Steven giggled a bit as Johnny ran his hands through his hair. There was something he loved about hearing Johnny gasping his name. After a few minutes, Johnny came in one rush. He zipped up and slid to the ground to meet Steven's eyes. 

"Does this mean we're together?" Steven asked.

"Of course." Johnny answered, placing his hand on Steven's cheek. "If you're comfortable with it."

"I am, Johnny," Steven replied without even having to think twice. "Of course."  
After two or three minutes, they made their way back to Steven's house, hand in hand.


	8. Johnny's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm so sorry i haven't been posting chapters! i've been really really busy lately but hopefully this will suffice. i'll try to update more often. thanks!   
> -Ian xx

Just as they stepped through the door, Moz's mum came running towards them.

"Steven you're late! I was worried!" She said as she gave him a big hug, "And Johnny, you shouldn't have gone with him! You need to recover from your injury!"

"Sorry ma'am," replied Johnny, giving Moz a smirk.   
The blue eyed boy adjusted his scarf so his mother wouldn't see his lovebites. 

"Mum we've got to go upstairs," he explained, "Johnny needs to rest up before dinner." 

"Alright loves!" She smiled, "Dinner is in half an hour!"   
The boys nodded and made their way upstairs, and sat on Moz's bed. Johnny thought something seemed off about Moz. He looked worried. He avoided eye contact. What was going on with him?

"Is something wrong?" Johnny asked.

"Sort of." Replied Moz, "I'm just worried about you. Is there something going on at home?"  
Johnny's heart sped up. He'd had such a wonderful day, he forgot about his father. He hadn't talked to him or been home in nearly two days. When he got home, his father wouldn't be happy.

"Can you promise not to tell anyone?" Johnny wondered, taking Moz's hand.

"I promise." Said Moz.

Johnny hesitantly spoke, "My father isn't perfect. He spends all his money on beer and cigarettes. He isn't nice to my mum, which is why she's never home. I'm afraid to go back home because he might hurt me." He tried to speak more, but he suddenly started crying at the thought of it all.

"Oh, my love," Moz whispered, taking Johnny in his arms, "You don't ever have to go back. I'll take all my savings and we'll move out of Manchester. We can go to London, or wherever you'd like."

"It's not that easy," cried Johnny, "And you can't waste your savings on me. What will happen to your mum? What will happen to the record store?" 

"It doesn't have to be immediately," replied Moz in his soothing voice, "You can stay here until then. I just want you out of there."

"I'd still have to get my things." Johnny explained, "If he saw me, he'd never let me leave."

Moz pondered for a moment, "Go at night. He'll be asleep."  
Johnny nearly denied it, but he realized that it was a great idea.

"When?" Asked Johnny, reluctantly.

"Perhaps tomorrow night?" Suggested Moz, "I'll wait outside to help you carry everything."  
Johnny nodded, burying his face in Moz's shoulder. He didn't want anything more than to be held by the warm boy.   
Quite by accident, Johnny nodded off. Sleeping wrapped in Moz's arms, he had the most wonderful dreams. He dreamt of Moz bringing him gladioli- just like the kind he'd bought yesterday. He wanted to dream this dream until the end of time.  
Gently, Moz shook Johnny into consciousness. The palm of Moz's hand was grazing Johnny's cheek as he moved the hair from his face. 

"Time for dinner," Moz silently said, with a smile.  
They made their way downstairs and sat at the table as Moz's mum served them lasagna. All throughout the delicious meal, they gave each other the softest glances.   
Johnny could tell that Moz was worried about him. But all he could think of was Mike and Andy. He needed to talk to them somehow. But Moz would never let him leave the house. How could he get through to them? Then, he realized. He had to go when Moz was asleep.  
The two boys helped Moz's mum clear the dinner table before they went to bed. Afterward, they made their way upstairs and laid down. 

"Tomorrow night, we'll get your things," decided Moz, "If you're up for it."

Johnny took Moz's hand, "I am. I need my guitar." 

"Is that all you need?" questioned the blue eyed boy.

"It's the only thing I've ever cared about," Johnny said, "Until now of course."  
Moz blushed, clicking off the light  
and giving Johnny a kiss on the cheek. 

\-----------------------------

Several hours ticked by before Johnny thought it safe to get out of bed. Finally, at around 1AM, he slid out of Moz's narrow bed, careful not to wake him. He threw on his shoes and coat, and then he crept down the stairs and out the door. Realizing he didn't have a method of transportation, he grabbed the nearest bike and took it. 

"I'll bring it right back," Whispered Johnny under his breath.  
It only took fifteen minutes to get to Andy's apartment. He strolled down the hallway, taking in the stained carpet, the paint curling off the walls, and the everlasting smell of mold. Every hallway on every floor was like this. Especially on Andy's floor, due to the amount of times his shaky hands had dropped a cup of tea, or he'd stumbled into the wall and left a singe in the paint from his cigarette.   
Finally reaching Andy's apartment, Johnny knocked on the door. No Answer. He pressed his ear up to it, and sure enough, there were noises. It sounded like- Johnny gasped. Craig was right. The sounds were faint, yet unmistakable. The sound of gasping, panting.   
The brown eyed boy kicked up the door mat, revealing the spare key. As quickly as possible, he opened the door.   
The scene before him was messy. There were Andy and Mike, on the couch. Mike lay on the couch, Andy on top of him with his legs wrapped around the dark haired boy's waist. Mike's shirt was off, and Andy's was halfway unbuttoned. Both of them looked in horror, at the the boy standing in the doorway. 

"Johnny-" Mike stuttered, "I swear, I can explain."

"No, no it's all right. I understand." Johnny backed up, eager to get out of the awkward situation. 

Andy stood up, pulling a chair towards the couch, "Why don't you come sit down? You look like shit."

"No, I should be going," Johnny explained, "I stole a bike to get here. But it appears that all my questions have been answered. Goodnight."

"Johnny, I'm sorry," Mike rushed over, taking Johnny's hand, "I am so sorry for what I did."  
He looked at Mike, seeing a man motivated by fear and guilt. 

"I'm sure you are." Johnny pulled his hand away, "Now get back to what you were doing."  
With that, he was gone. He bicycled back to Moz's house as fast as he could. Returning the stolen bike, he darted upstairs quietly. But something was amiss. Reaching Moz's room, he saw light tracing the outer edges of the door. At first he thought he must've left the light on. He quietly opened the door, and there was Moz on his bed, awake. 

"Johnny!" He made his way towards the brown eyed boy, "Where the hell were you? I was worried!" 

"It's 1AM my love, go back to sleep," whispered Johnny, taking Moz's hand. 

Moz pulled his hand away, and spoke loudly, "Tell me where you were."  
Johnny thought. Did he want to tell Moz? He usually lied about where he was. But finally, he was talking to someone he really loved. He couldn't lie, not in his right mind at least. 

"I'm sorry love," Johnny calmly stated, "I went to see Andy and Mike. I needed to ask them a question."

"Oh Johnny, you could've been hurt! Mike has hurt you before, and he'll do it again!" Moz said, wrapping his arms around the smaller man.

Johnny sighed, "I know. I just had to know if there was something going on between them."

"Well?" Moz smirked.

Johnny chuckled. "There's definitely something going on. They were snogging, and Mike's shirt was off y'know?"   
Moz tried to put on a serious face, but instead he threw his head back in laughter. Johnny looked at him with a growing smile, and fell into the pit of laughter as well. 

"Right, just don't sneak around anymore alright love?" The quiffed lad said, slowing down his laughter.

"I promise, Moz," Johnny smiled.   
For a moment, they giggled just a bit more, but found themselves staring again into each other's eyes. The taller man gave Johnny a little smile as they leaned toward each other and shared a kiss.

"Let's get some more sleep," Johnny decided, "The sun's not even up yet."  
Moz nodded, clicking off the light and wrapping his arms around Johnny. Johnny took the moment all in, and nodded off.


	9. POV Moz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys! so sorry it took so long to upload again. i think you all will like the upcoming chapters though!

The boys discussed their plan over coffee that morning. Johnny's dad started drinking around 7:00 PM and would be shitfaced, and likely knocked out, around 8:00 PM. Johnny had the extra key. He would let himself in, and very quietly get his things. Steven would be waiting just outside to help Johnny carry his stuff as they ran away.   
Steven closed the store at 6:00 PM which gave them just enough time to have dinner and then walk to Johnny's. 

"I'm a little nervous," Johnny admitted.

"Don't be," Steven smiled, "Everything will be fine."  
Johnny didn't say anything. He just smiled.

The day went by quickly. The boys ran the record store, and closed at 6:00. Walking down the street hand in hand, Johnny pulled Steven's hand.

"Look!" Johnny pointed, "Gladioli!"  
Surely enough, there was a florist selling many different types of flowers, gladioli included. Johnny stopped and picked a few. He told the florist he wanted to buy them, and with a smile he paid.

"I bought you these on the night of the accident," He said, "But they got ruined in that dark alleyway."  
The shorter boy handed Steven the flowers. He smiled at Johnny, and decided to take him the a small park about five minutes away. They walked without any words until they finally sat down on a bench just under a tree. 

"This is my favorite park," explained Steven.  
Johnny didn't say anything. He smiled, and pressed their lips together, sending chills down Steven's spine. They did this for a while, the world around them ceasing to exist. They forgot they were even in public until someone yelled at them.

"Faggots!" yelled a man walking his dog. Johnny, visibly tense, started to stand. Steven put his arm out in front of Johnny, pushing him back onto the bench. All he did was smile and point towards a sign that said "No Dogs". The man mirrored his dog, and barred his teeth.

"The sign says 'no dogs', not 'no fags'," Steven said gently, "so be off."  
Then man walked off, mumbling.

Johnny looked at Steven and smiled, "Nice one!"

"It's time for us to leave too, I'm afraid," Steven sighed, tapping his watch, "Your father will probably be passed out soon."  
The boys got up and walked hand in hand until they reached Johnny's small council home. The shorter boy started to panic.

"If my father sees me, he'll kill me," Johnny said, pacing in front of the door.

"You're going to be all right," assured Steven, "I'm here. And you'll be light on your feet, I know it."  
Johnny gave Steven a peck on the cheek, and let himself into the house. For about fifteen minutes, everything was quiet. Steven didn't hear anything, so he assumed everything was going smoothly. That was, until he heard the yelling.   
The words were indecipherable, but the voice was not Johnny's. Steven heard thumping, and got ready to run as Johnny burst out the front door. His father was attempting to run after him, but was drunk, and therefore slow. 

"I'll find you!" He yelled as he bent over to take a breath, "And when I do, I'll beat you both straight!" 

"Run Moz!" Johnny ordered, taking Steven's hand. The two sprinted down every street until they finally reached the park. 

"Alright," Steven stopped to catch his breath, "We've lost him."

Johnny shook his head, "No we haven't. He may be a complete wanker, but he knows everyone, and he always knows where to find me."  
Steven took his hand again, reassuring him that his father would not find him any time soon. He was sure. His family wasn't a social one, and they definitely wouldn't have surrounded themselves with a scummy man such as him.   
They arrived at Steven's house and set Johnny's things down. Johnny sat, and put his head in his hands. 

"I promise you Johnny, it'll be okay," Moz said quietly.

"You don't know my father," Johnny scoffed, stepping into the bathroom.   
Of course, he was right. Steven didn't know his father. And he hoped he never would.


	10. POV Johnny

"Moz," Johnny whispered in the waking hours of the morning, "Mozzer."

Moz slowly opened his blue eyes to Johnny, "Yes? What time is it?"

"It's nine o'clock," Johnny smiled, "I'm going to pick up some coffee."

Moz turned over, "Alright, don't be long."  
Johnny searched for a shirt, deciding to throw on one of Moz's sweaters. It looked very large on him, and the sleeves hung awkwardly, filled only with his short arms. He loved it.   
When he stepped outside, a morning fog surrounded him, and he was met with occasional people walking their dogs, making their way to work, or getting their mail. He thought the air felt fresh, and today was going to be a good day. He needed a break from everything that happened in the past week.  
He picked up coffee for himself and tea for Moz. At the last minute, he decided to take the long way through a nearby park.   
There were many people with their dogs here. The only other person who didn't have a dog was a man far away, sitting on a bench. As Johnny got closer, he realized who the man on the bench was.   
His heart sped up, as he turned around and tried not to be noticed by his father. He walked as fast as his short legs could take him, but unfortunately it gained him unwanted attention. 

"Hey!" yelled his father, running after him, "Stop!"  
He started running towards Moz's house, but he didn't want to lead his father to him. He ran into the business area, where there were tons of shops, restaurants, and other storefronts. His father ran after him.  
He decided to throw the coffees away, because they were slowing him down. He tossed them as he ran near a trash can, and immediately picked up his pace. He was young and fit, unlike his father who was probably hungover.   
He ran for as long as he could, but he needed to slow down and catch his breath. He veered into an alley, and finally he was sure he'd lost his father. He bent over to catch his breath. His hands were trembling, but he'd won.  
Johnny's moment of relief was over when he felt a pair of hands around his neck, as he was pushed against the cold alley wall. He'd just caught his breath, and now he was losing it again.

"No son of mine runs off with some faggot," his father growled, "Got it?"  
Johnny's vision began to fade. He grasped at the strong hands enclosed on his neck, but nothing he could do would pry them away. He felt a sudden hot pain near his stomach, and he realized that the source of it was his father's pocket knife.   
Johnny was dropped to the ground, and when he looked up, his father was gone. He felt dizzy, and he was laying in a pool of his own blood. He decided to make his way back to Moz's house. He stumbled blindly as he made his way, and people stared at him with concerned, confused eyes.   
Eventually he crawled onto Moz's doorstep, ringing the bell. A moment passed before an awe-struck Moz answered the door.

"I'm sorry Moz," Johnny stood on his knees and took Moz's hand, "I've ruined your lovely sweater."

"Johnny, what happened?" Moz stuttered. Tears started forming in his eyes.

"My...," Johnny wanted to fall asleep, but he knew he wasn't supposed to do that, "My father."

Moz carried him to his bed, laying him down gently like the night Johnny had first shown up on his doorstep, "Your father did this to you?"

"Found me...," Johnny whispered.

"Oh Johnny," Moz said, stroking his hair, and trying uselessly not to let himself be seen crying.   
Johnny was bleeding onto Moz's sheets and into his hands, and he was sorry. 

"My mother isn't home," Moz explained, "I don't know how to drive but I'm going to drive you to the hospital."  
Johnny wanted to protest, but he knew it had to be done. Moz loaded him into the car, and stepped on the breaks, bumping into the car parked in front of them. It was off to a bad start already.   
Each turn made Johnny dizzy. Moz didn't slow down at the turns, and didn't stop at the stop signs.   
Suddenly, they smashed into a vehicle on the side of the road. Johnny noted that it was near Andy's flat, as he blacked out.


	11. POV Moz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it guys!! this is the long awaited last chapter... sorry it took so long !

Steven dragged Johnny from the car, leaving it poorly parked on the side of the road. Was Johnny still breathing? Steven felt his pulse, and yes indeed, he was still breathing. He didn't know how he was going to get to the hospital now. He nearly went to a pay phone to call an ambulance, but two men he didn't recognize at first stopped him.

"Moz? What happened to Johnny?" the man Steven suddenly recognized as Mike asked. He was with Andy, who immediately started to help Steven carry Johnny.

"He was stabbed by his father," Moz explained, "I tried to get him to the hospital, but I can't drive. Andy, check that he's still breathing."  
Andy did as he was told, and nodded yes. 

"The hospital's too far now," Mike said, "Bring him up to our flat, I'll phone an ambulance."  
Andy and Steven dragged Johnny into the small apartment which smelled like weed, and laid him on the couch. His bleeding had slowed down, but he was still bleeding a little bit. Mike called the ambulance, while Andy grabbed a towel to clot the blood.

"Moz?" Whispered the now conscious Johnny, "Where are we?"

"We're at Mike and Andy's," Steven held Johnny close to him, "Mike's just called for an ambulance, don't worry."

"I'm not gonna make it Moz," Johnny's scratchy voice predicted, "By the time the ambulance gets here, I'll be gone."

Steven held Johnny closer, and tried to no avail to stop the tears from coming, "Please don't say that, you'll be fine. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Johnny now had tears rolling down his cheeks, "Just kiss me,"

"Johnny...," Steven choked, before he leaned forward to kiss Johnny's warm lips, "Please don't go,"

"This is such a heavenly way to die," Johnny struggled to find those words, as they would be his very last. The light faded from his golden brown eyes, his grip on Steven's hand released, and the last tear rolled down his cheek.  
Steven looked up to see that Andy was sobbing into Mike's arms, and tears were slipping down Mike's cold, expressionless face.  
He looked back down at Johnny. He expected him to start laughing at any moment, telling him that he fell for it. He didn't. 

"Johnny," Steven whimpered, pulling the lifeless body of his boyfriend into his arms, "I love you."  
When the paramedics showed up, Steven wouldn't let them touch Johnny. He wouldn't give him up. Eventually, they convinced him to hand him over.  
Steven was covered in blood. His nails were caked with it, his clothes were stained with it, and it was even in his hair. He didn't know what to do.

"Why don't you take a shower?" Andy said quietly, this being the first time Steven could recall him saying anything to him, "You can shower here, I have extra clothes."   
Normally, Steven would've declined, but this was a separate occasion. He nodded his head, and silently went to the bathroom.   
He shed his clothes and stepped into the shower. For a moment, all he could do was stare, as the water sent red streaks of Johnny's blood down his body. He scrubbed the dried blood out of his fingernails, trying to cleanse himself completely.   
When Steven stepped out, he realized that Andy had left some folded clothes out for him to wear. They were a bit small, but he preferred it to wearing bloody clothes.  
He didn't want to go on without Johnny. Life had been pointless before him, and now that he was gone, it was pointless again. He searched Andy's medicine cabinet, hoping to find some sort of hard drug that would end him.

"What are you looking for, Moz?" Andy said from behind him.  
Steven turned around to look at Andy who was wearing a green sweater and a concerned expression on his face. He didn't know what to say. He just looked at the blonde man standing before him, speechless.

"I know what you're doing," Andy sighed, "You want to dull the pain. This is no way to do it. You need to be alive, alright? Johnny would've wanted you to be alive."

"How would you know?" Steven countered, though he already knew the answer.

"I was in a state of denial when I realized I was gay, so I started using," Andy snapped, "I had full access to heroin, and I took advantage."

"But don't you still use?" questioned Steven.

"I'm having a tough time with my withdrawal," Andy's eyes darted around the room, as if trying not to think about what he was being withdrawn from, "Once an addict, always an addict."

"You sound like an anti-drug campaign that goes to different schools."

"You're so stubborn Moz," Andy rolled his eyes, "I can't stop you from swallowing a whole pill bottle, I'm just trying to give advice."  
Andy stormed out of the room. Steven could hear an Iggy Pop album being played from the living room, and wanted to investigate, but ended up staying in the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. The sweater Andy had given him was just so low cut that he could see the lovebites Johnny had made on his chest and neck only a few nights ago.   
The time had gone by so fast. He wanted to go back to that night and tell Johnny how much he meant to him. He wanted to stop him from going out to get coffee. All of it felt like his fault.  
Steven didn't realize he was crying until the first tear fell onto his cold hand, making him jump. He felt dizzy, so he sat down on the floor and sobbed. It didn't help that his bloodied clothes were in such close proximity to him.   
When Steven closed his eyes, he imagined Johnny sitting on the floor next to him. His arms were wrapped around him, and he wore a comforting smile.

"Don't cry Moz," Fake-Johnny said, "I'll be right here."  
Steven hoped so. He wanted to keep Johnny as close as possible. He walked himself home, and found Johnny's clothes still sprawled across the floor. His guitar sat in the corner, waiting to be played. A small amount of blood was on Steven's sheets, but he didn't mind. He sat down, closed his eyes, and replayed the moment he first met Johnny in his mind. When it was over, he did it again, and again, and again until he remembered every moment word for word. This is how Craig found him when he came to check on him. 

"Hey Mozzer," Craig said quietly, knocking on the halfway open bedroom door, "Your friend came by the shop and told me what happened."

"What friend?" Steven questioned. Johnny had been his only friend.

"He was blonde... I think his name was Andy?" Craig sat down next to Steven on the floor, "He told me about what happened with Johnny. I thought I'd check on you." 

"Who let you in?" Steven asked.

"Your mum."

"Oh alright," Steven sighed, "Thanks for stopping by."

"It's no problem, Moz," Craig gave him a reassuring smile, "I hope you're alright."  
Steven shrugged. He wasn't alright, but he wasn't close enough with Craig to tell him that. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. Craig hadn't known Johnny like Steven had. Nobody really did. They sat in silence before someone began to open the door. It wasn't Steven's mum. It was a familiar young woman with short brown hair. She looked like she'd been crying. Steven was sure he'd seen her somewhere, but he didn't know where.

"Hey Moz?" Craig became uncomfortable, "This is the girl who slapped you."  
So that's who she was. Angie. Johnny's last girlfriend. The girl he'd left for Steven. He stood, looking at her worriedly.

"How did you find my house?" Steven cautiously asked.

"Mike told me," Angie said quietly, "I heard about Johnny."

"Yes," Steven said, sitting on top of the bloodstain on his bed, to cover it up, "His bastard father did it."

"You don't have to pretend that he wasn't with you these past days," Angie painfully said, "His clothes are all over your floor. His guitar is over there. You're sitting on his blood."

Steven stood, "I'm sorry."

"I know he left me for you," She looked like she was going to cry, "You're a lucky man."

"Angie, I'm really so sorry," Steven said.  
Angie was out the door already. Her sobs could be heard as she descended the stairs, and once she was out the door they were gone.   
Steven wasn't a lucky man. He'd fallen in love with someone just soon enough to see them die. Finally he was happy, and the universe took it away from him. 

"Will you be alright, Moz?" asked Craig.

"Maybe, Craig," Steven sighed, "And maybe not".

"Take the week off, I'll cover for you," Craig put his hand on Steven's shoulder, and gave him the reassuring smile that did nothing to help him, but was much appreciated anyway. 

"Thanks," He mumbled as Craig slipped out the door. He watched as his oldest, and only friend made his way down the stairs, and out the front door. He decided to keep Craig close, because as it seemed now, he would have only one friend for a long time.   
Johnny would live in his memories as his imaginary friend. The sky was the limit. The only problem was that Steven would never really feel Johnny close to him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter. i know, it's depressing but i had it all planned out from the start. don't worry, i'll write more fics, soon :)
> 
> (also i was thinking of writing a version of this fanfic, but from Mike and Andy's points of view. you guys tell me what you think of that idea)


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